Extra Support…

No, I don’t just mean big knickers (but I would absolutely recommend bump support knickers for any sort of excercise you’re planning on doing).

I am very much a 1 person person, I don’t have many friends but the friends I do have mean the absolute world to me, I’m a bit of an introvert and you will never know the real me unless I am 100% comfortable in your presence.

So as you can imagine when the time came for people to start recommending anti natal classes and “mum” groups. My answer was a swift no! My midwife once asked me 4 times during one 15 minute appointment. I didn’t beat around the bush I told her 3 times that I didn’t want to go, on the fourth it took my mum to step in “look she’s said no”….what do you get from those groups that you can’t find on YouTube anyway?

My midwife proceeded to give me a leaflet and stopped asking. The leaflet told me how to bath my baby’s face with cotton wool and warm water. How to care for his nappy area and how to take his temp. Those were the three main points. (not every anti natal class will be like that so please don’t let me put you off going this is just my personal choice).

A few of the girls at work encouraged me to go to a mum’s support group to meet other mums and chat about our experiences of pregnancy, nope! I wasn’t for doing that either. Not after hearing one of my friends stories about sitting around in a circle and talking about cravings…cravings! What are those? Part of my reluctance may have been my grumpiness caused by not eating and sickness!!

The Internet…

I found support online, Facebook mum’s and mum’s to be groups. Absolutely fantastic. All you have to do is keep an eye on the page and you notice that there are so many other women in your position. All of your fears, thoughts, hopes, dreams for pregnancy and birth are already being talked about. Women are going through it with you and have already been through it which makes it a great place for advice and confidence.

Old Friends…

I had another random stream of support, Vickey, it’s amazing how people come back together under different circumstances. We haven’t seen or really spoken in detail for roughly 10/11 years. When my pregnancy announcement went out Vickey was straight in my inbox with her news although very early on. We went through the whole thing together, talking almost every day, both having difficult pregnancies but difficult in very different ways. I suffered with sickness and fainting, she suffered with SPD. Both our births ended in pretty much the same way and we both have gorgeous healthy little boys. Vickey will also back me on the Facebook group help and support. She found it as beneficial as I did.

Books…

Books, books are fantastic. There are so many out there, I can recommend “The positive birth book” by Milli Hill. I think it’s the only one I didn’t pick up, read the first paragraph and throw in the “a load of tosh” pile, I actually read the whole thing. It’s an unbiased account, helps you plan and gives you a laugh at the same time. It’s nice to read a book that gives you actual facts like your rights whilst in labour. But again, that’s just me, you’ll find your own.

It goes without saying…

Your family and friends will always be there to support you, this post is mainly about other forms of support out there. But, your mum and your dad have been there, as have your grandparents and maybe your siblings. Just ask. Everyone is willing to help and… At the end of the day, it’s every woman’s favourite subject. You would be unlucky if you came across a mum unwilling to give you her advice.

I am very lucky on the sense I am so close to both my mum and my dad. My 20 year old sister was often more clued up than me because she had close friends with babies, I didn’t. They were always there to answer any questions I had as were, my colleagues, manager, close friends, Nana, brother-in-law and so on.

Some days will be frightening, purely because you’re experiencing things that you never have before and you don’t know the answers. Just ask! … My midwife was neither use nor ornament so when it came to questions, Facebook, friends, books and family were ultimate life savers!